I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
