well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
