yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
