Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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