i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
