I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
