I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize