Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
