At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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