just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
