Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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