wrigley field is MILF paradise
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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