She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
