yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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