Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
