Sry I called you an 8
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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