you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Someone stole a lamp last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
