I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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