I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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