where am i from again
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
