Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
