I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
