As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize