i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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