real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
