you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize