So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
