how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
