Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
