you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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