Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it glows. i had to have it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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