your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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