My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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