omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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