I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
