Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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