They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
