I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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