You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
