I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
