he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
