Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
