Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
PANTIES FOUND
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
