I'm gonna have a badass scar
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
