this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize