you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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