there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
