I cannot find my penis.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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