Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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