I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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