why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
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