I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
