at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
