I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
