He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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