You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
