Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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