Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize