Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
