I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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