I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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