I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
