smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
