I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
