Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
