Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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