idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
