help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
