I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
