i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
